Thought for the Day: Flirting with disaster
May 31, 2005

First things first:
Stargazing again...

* Damn it Larry. If you're in the playoffs, stop taking phone calls about other jobs. These things have a way of getting out you know. Hasn't anyone around here ever heard of tampering (yes, I know the Pistons purportedly gave LB and the Cavs permission to speak, but darn it.) But as usual, all of the bad things in the state can be traced back to someone who went to Michigan State, in this case new Cavs owner Dan Gilbert. I am also pretty sure that this means that Rock Financial will not be the presenting sponsor of the Pistons again next year.

* So Deep Throat has come forward. This is only exciting to history teachers, except I now have to go back and revise my Watergate notes which I just wrote this year. Although, to be fair, I was going to have to do this at some point anyway. I'm just impressed that they have already updated Wikipedia.

* Sorry, that's all, I have to get back to doing that thing I do.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, who, to be fair, was never a candidate to be Deep Throat.

Thought for the Day: With hope, in your heart...
May 26, 2005

First things first:
Stargazing again...

* Sport is funny. A three goal string in six minutes, well, that's something. Accepting that your basketball team was going to lose game two, have them rally to pull even, and then get angry because they let the game get away and force Detroit fans to sit through four days of the national media slurping Dwyane Wade, well, that's something else. Look, he made some amazing plays, but the fact of the matter is, the Heat needed almost every last one of his 40 points to win that game. I can't see that happening again. Then again, with LB's health being more of an issue than people realized, well...

* Things that are wrong: Realizing that because you have watched both Apollo 13 and The Alamo in class, both movies could have the line "Houston, we've had a problem." and still work.

* Fun random snark of the day:
U.S. State Mottos
Alabama--Audemus jura nostra defendere--(Latin, "We dare defend our rights")
(Yes, and that turned out so well back in the day.)

Alaska--North to the future
(As opposed to East, which, well, frankly, might be more accurate.)

Arizona--Ditat Deus--(Latin, "God enriches")
(Then why did he send you the Cardinals?)

Arkansas--Regnat populus--(Latin, "The people rule")
(I suspect this now gets yelled as "The People RULE!!!!")

California--Eureka--(Greek, "I have found it")
(Sadly, the it is mostly the Carl's Jr. site with that Paris Hilton ad on it. That's hot.)

Colorado--Nil sine numine--(Latin, "Nothing without providence")
(So, is Colorado transporting over Rhode Island anytime soon?)

Connecticut--Qui transtulit sustinet--(Latin, "He who transplanted, sustains")
(He who is original parts, needs to go in for maintenance.)

Delaware--Liberty and independence
(Oh gee, you're the first state and this is the best you can come up with. Why not freedom while you're at it. People seem to like freedom.)

Florida--In God we trust
(I like the idea of Florida's motto being the same as the national motto. Saves our older Americans things to remember.)

Georgia--Wisdom, justice, and moderation
(Ahh, the first of our laundry list mottos. What's next, Clorox*?)
[* Joke supplied by Joe Wright.]

Hawaii--Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono--(Hawaiian, "The life of the land is perpetuated in
righteousness")
(To be fair, this probably sounds way cooler in Hawaiian.)

Idaho--Esto perpetua--(Latin, "Let it be perpetual")
(Or let it be Lowenbrau, your call.)

Illinois--State sovereignty, national union
(Laundry list!)

Iowa--Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain
(Wow, motto as mission statement.)

Indiana--The crossroads of America
(That's not a motto as much as it is an accurate description.)

Kansas--Ad astra per aspera--(Latin, "To the stars through difficulty")
(Kansas, the original home of NASA)

Kentucky--United we stand, divided we fall
(Nope, I like this one. Let's face it, it's one of the few people know.)

Louisiana--Union, justice, and confidence
(Laundry list!)

Maine--Dirigo--(Latin, "I direct" or "I lead")
(Snooty easternmost state. How many Presidents have you given us?)

Maryland--Fatti maschi, parole femmine--(Italian, literally "Manly deeds, womanly words")
(Maryland, can I make the point that you have to be pretty confident in yourself to choose this as your motto.)

Massachusetts--Ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem--(Latin, "By the sword she seeks peace
under liberty")
(Massachusetts, blah, blah, blah.)

Michigan--Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam, circumspice--(Latin, "If you seek a beautiful peninsula,
look around you" — an alteration of the epitaph of Sir Christopher Wren in St. Paul's Cathedral,
London.)
(Michigan, we'll steal anything not bolted to the ground.)

Minnesota--L'étoile du Nord--(French, "The north star")
(Nope, they moved to Dallas in 1993)

Mississippi--Virtute et armis--(Latin, "By virtue and arms")
(You know, to be fair, I got nothing here. It's not a bad motto.)

Missouri--Salus populi suprema lex esto--(Latin, "Let the good of the people be the supreme law")
(This from the state that has the Anheuser-Busch plant.)

Montana--Oro y plata--(Spanish, "Gold and silver")
(Again, things we're looking for here.)

Nebraska--Equality before the law
(Unless the law goes 8-4, then there's Hell to pay.)

Nevada--All for our country
(Well, except the 10% the casinos take.)

New Hampshire--Live free or die
(New Hampshire, pissed off since 1623!)

New Jersey--Liberty and prosperity
(Guys, have you ever actually been to New Jersey? Lady Liberty's back is turned to you and prosperity is not a street in Atlantic City.)

New Mexico--Crescit eundo--(Latin, "It grows as it goes")
(Wait, shouldn't this be Oregon's motto.)

New York--Excelsior--(Latin, "Higher")
(Wait, shouldn't THIS be Oregon's motto?)

North Carolina--Esse quam videri--(Latin, "To be rather than to seem")
(Wow, North Carolina gets metaphysical.)

North Dakota--Liberty and union, now and forever, one and inseparable
(North Dakota, so boring they had to rip off three other famous mottos to get theirs.)

Ohio--With God, all things are possible
(Yeah, just ask John Elway.)

Oklahoma--Labor vincit omnia--(Latin, "Work conquers all")
(I hear work is also a hell of a risk player.)

Oregon--Alis volat propiis--(Latin, "She flies with her own wings")
(Wow, even Oregon's motto sounds like it lit up.)

Pennsylvania--Virtue, liberty, and independence
(Well, two out of three ain't bad.)

Rhode Island--Hope
(Smallest state, shortest motto)

South Carolina--Dum spiro, spero--(Latin, "While I breathe, I hope")
(Craig: OK, what does it say that this is the motto of America's fourth largest tobacco producer?)
(Dave: Yes, I hope I don't get cancer.)

South Dakota--Under God the people rule
(Did South Dakota just turn on the random state motto generator on LiveJournal to come up with this one.)

Tennessee--Agriculture and commerce
(Are these things you have or things you want. Personally, I think they need to go back to "Tennes-seeing is Tenne-believing!)

Texas--Friendship
(OK, I have to say, I am shocked. I have believed for years that the state motto of Texas was "Remember the Alamo!" Perhaps that is the state historical command.)

Utah--Industry
(Again, do you have industry, do you want industry? What's the goal here?)

Vermont--Freedom and unity
(And syrup!)

Virginia--Sic semper tyrannis--(Latin, "Thus always to tyrants")
(Look, Virginia, I don't mean to criticize. But when the most famous example of the use of your state motto is the assassination of an American president, perhaps just MAYBE you want to think about changing it. I know it's historically significant, but...)

Washington--Al-ki--(Chinook Jargon, "By and by")
(Wait, so Washington's state motto is just a conversational filler. Should Pennsylvania consider switching to "S'Anyway". Perhaps New York could go for "Yadda, Yadda, Yadda." Florida could move to "So I says to Mabel.)

West Virginia--Montani semper liberi--(Latin, "Mountaineers are always free")
(Especially with an eight-gallon fill-up. Yes, I know this isn't my joke. I don't care.)

Wisconsin--Forward
(Which, makes sense when you think about it. The state song is "On Wisconsin!)

Wyoming--Equal rights
(Wyoming likes equality, we get it already.)

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, saying something else clever in Latin.

Thought for the Day: Weddings and Jedi: These things mix, do not.
May 23, 2005

First things first:
I don't look good in a tux. I mean, this is largely because I need to drop some weight and reclaim a neck, which is on my summer to do list, but still, it's there and it's not that I wasn't trying, but when you can't walk the next day because the shoes are screwed up, well, ladies, I have sympathy, but what the hell was that. I enjoyed the wedding, but I couldn't help but spend most of the time thinking "You know, when my time comes, why not just elope. Save huge money, tell the people who you want to be there where it's going to be and just let them make the decision." Then again, I am a guy and we're just basically there for parts. Anyway, my best and congratulations to Rocky and Sue, who are, at the moment, somewhere in Jamaica, so enjoy that kids. To my brother and my new sister-in-law. Wow, that's going to take some getting used to.

Oh, one other note: During the bouquet toss, I put my money on my sister, because I thought she would not be above using her elbows. Well, she did one better, one handed grab without moving or moving the arm. It was truly spectacular and my dad (who looked very good in his tux, as did my brother. Then again, Rocky looks good in almost anything. Pisses me off to no end. He has this tremendous easy charm and relaxed look that I can never ever have. There's a photo of him just before and he's got the Rocky smile working and I mean, it's amazing, he is a complete and utter charmer. No wonder the girls love him. Me, I have to get by on brains and wit, which pretty much explains where we are today.)

Now, the rehearsal dinner Friday night and the wedding Saturday night meant I had to wait until Sunday to see Star Wars: Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith. Well, was it worth the wait? We'll let you know, right after this obligatory spoiler space.































Spoiler Space is granted by a generous donation from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting:

I liked it, but I have to stop thinking about it. I did like that I got to have a pretty good conversation with the kids today about it, but they really need to have a better knowledge of Episodes IV-VI.

It's a dark note to end on, but we know it's OK because of what happens later. It's a bit heavy handed in its allegorical parallels, but then again, if you don't hammer these points, people tend to miss them. Lucas still makes me attempt to stab myself when he writes any romantic dialogue, but staring at Natalie Portman during those moments does make it go down easier. I was happy to get a Grand Moff Tarkin sighting, despite the notable handicap of Peter Cushing's death. I also like that Lucas clearly knew where to make the set-ups: the picking up of Anakin's lightsaber, the handing the droids off to Capt. Antilles (whom I presume is Wedge's father?), things like that.

Some questions remain:
1). If saving Padme was the reason Anakin turned to the Dark Side, and Padme died, and "there's still some good in him" (which we know to be true because of what happens in Episode VI), then why did he not just leave after Palpatine told him that Padme was dead?

2). If Yoda could nearly take out Darth Sidious by himself, why not go with Obi-Wan, double team him, and then head to the Outer Rim and take on Anakin? Strength in numbers?

3). If Qui-Gon learned the secret of, crap, I can't remember what Yoda called it, but essentially it was cheating death, which we presumed Obi-Wan was going to learn this during his 20-25 years in the desert of Tatooine, then when didn't Qui-Gon "disappear" when Darth Maul killed him? Yes, I know Darth Vader was burned in the funeral pyre, but I always just suspected that that was the robotic parts of him as a symbol. And if Qui-Gon did learn the secret, then why doesn't he show up with Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin at the end of Episode VI, other than the fact that Luke never met him.

4). If Episode III is 19 years before the Battle of Yavin, then how come it takes 20 years to build the first Death Star and five to build the second? Even with a command Imperial economy and advances in technology, the second Death Star is 33% larger than the original, according to what I have read, I mean, that's a hell of a learning curve.

5). If you’re trying to hide Luke and Leia from dad, would it be a good idea perhaps to change the child's last name? Maybe? Leia got a last name change, after all, although I wonder if the Organas ever told her she was adopted, because I think she might have figured out that she didn't look like mom and dad.

There's other stuff, like one of the kid's suggesting that Anakin's immaculate conception may have come from Darth Sidious' mentor who learned how to manipulate the Force to forestall death, which could also mean creating life with a high mitochlorian count, right? So, I am happy with how it ended and I suppose a movie that gets you to think about this kind of thing is good.

Pistons/Heat, Game 1 is tonight, but it's opposite the end of the 24-verse for this season, so we'll have to hope the game runs long enough that I can watch the whole last two hours and then flip over to the last part of Pistons/Heat.

Oh, I should also note, because I keep forgetting to correct it. David Thorsley was the one who arrived at the "bad case of Vertigo" joke separate from myself. Mike apparently claimed I was in Chicago for some remedial counting lessons.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, because good is dumb.

Thought for the Day: Wedding Bell Blues
May 20, 2005

First things first:
Yeah, I'm here, unfortunately, my life also seems to be here too, in full effect. My brother's wedding this weekend is slowly killing me for a number of reasons. But it will all be over soon and I can get back to something resembling a normal life, without rented clothes. So here are some quick hits:

* Songs to pick up on iTunes: "Maureen" by Fountains of Wayne (new album this summer, I think they are dual channelling Billy Idol and power pop on this one, and once again, I am OK with that.) and "Wordplay" by Jason Mraz (imagine if for your follow-up single to your major hit from your second album, you wrote an entire meta song about the process of writing the follow-up single to your major hit. Honestly, it's like a hip-hop song in how self-referential it is. That said, worth a listen.)

* So Michigan redesigned its football jerseys for 2005 (see here) and from the photos, I was OK with it, although I don't like the collar or the piping on the away jersey. But when I checked them out in person yesterday at the M-Den, I really didn't like them because they navy blues don't match now on the home jersey because of the differences in material. Also, the numbers are not tackle-twill shiny, they're flat and dull. I suspect that this could be Halo 2, and for those of you who are longtime Michigan fans, you know that is not the best-selling XBOX game of all-time we're talking about here.

* Class move by Larry Brown last night to call the 20-second time out to extend the ovation that the Pacer fans were giving to Reggie Miller at the end of the game. I am hopeful that this, along with a hard fought, but not nasty, series, will put the events of November 19 behind us and we can get back to enjoying one of the best current rivalries in sports.

* If you have not had a chance to check out "History Week" on Slate, you should do so. A number of interesting articles, and honestly, if you're reading this, then you clearly have the free time to be doing something far more educational.

* Beyond that gang, you're on your own. I'll catch you up sometime next week after I have had a chance to breathe after the consecutive body blows of Honors Night, Rehersal Dinner, and Wedding all lining up in a row. And by the way, damn you Rocky for getting married on the weekend that Revenge of the Sith was released. I have to fend off spoilers from all of my kids now.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, tuxed.

Thought for the Day: A bad case of Vertigo (1)
May 12, 2005

First things first:
What you're about to read never happened...unless it did.

Driving five hours across Michigan, listening to "The Way Things Aught To Be", trying in near vein to find Michigan postcards, and headed in to Chicago. Slipping into the Art Institute of Chicago (which apparently locals do not call the AIC, even thought it would make sense to do so), hitting the Greatest Hits (Seurat, Hopper, Wood) (apparently we missed the Chagall windows, but I'll argue that it is a reason to go back.) Tried to get on the Dan Ryan from Madison at 4:15, realized that Mike was right about needing traffic on the evens, headed to see the lovely and talented one (and Secret Squirrel). Getting on the El, heading downtown, meeting up with Cathy for the first time in six years, hitting an Irish pub, getting on the bus, all for...

U2
United Center, Chicago, IL
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
(3rd of 4 shows)

Note, the shows were being taped for the DVD release (they will likely be spliced in with Monday night's effort.) Kings of Leon were good, but their sound mix was a bit muddy, because I think the U2 people needed the same mix as the previous night for the DVD. I gave them a B+ on the Barker/Wallace Opening Act MEAP, Dave went B-, Cathy gave them an A- (but I still don't think she has figured out the grading system). After some excellent choices by the United Center interlude crew and a discussion with Cathy about our mutual love of Trogdor the Burninator, we get to 8:55 PM CDT.

Main Set:
1). City of Blinding Lights
The opener, and the new single. Bono "appears" at the edge of the ellipse (or "Bomb Shelter" as I have seen it referred to in print), and a hail of confetti greets him. Good energy number, and I must mention, the lights on the ellipse are mesmerizing, as is the drop down mega LEDs behind the stage (we were off to the side of the stage, right side if you were in front of the stage, or prime Adamland as someone in a review stated.)

2). Vertigo - Stories for Boys
Bono fully understands that the Spanish that opens "Vertigo" is pretentious, but we all yell "uno, dos, tres, catorce" anyway. Amazing energy, amazing vibe, Edge can still bring it on the solo, and Bono knows being a rock star.

3). Elevation
A good audience participation effort because we did the "Woo woos" that back the song while Edge was having way too much fun with his waa waa pedal.

4). The Electric Co.
So now we head back to Boy. When I was growing up, my mom was a U2 fan and I remember hearing Under a Blood Red Sky dozens of times in the car, so "The Electric Co." was a favorite on that album. Tonight's effort did not fail to live up to expectations, it was quite the thing. I should also mention that Bono got a little Chicago nod in during this song, as he sang "Despite all your rage, you're still just a rat in a cage" several times during the interlude. This cracked Dave and I up as it was the codeline we used to cheat on a current events test in high school. (B-S, for the record, we do still love you for that one.)

5). An Cat Dubh - Into the Heart
At this part, Bono pulls a young, Harry Potter-looking kid up on stage with him, and in one of the highlights of the night, asks the young man his name and then replying "My name's Paul, but I call myself Bono."

6). Beautiful Day
The near heartbeat of the opening gets everyone up, especially after a couple of older ones which were the "OK, who here is old school?" checks. Still love this one.

7). New Year's Day
May I just say that I have to give major props to The Edge, who managed to play the piano parts of New Year's Day while wearing the guitar, and then seamlessly slipped between the piano and guitar

8). Miracle Drug
Ahh, I knew this was coming. Bono begins speechifying. The thing is, I don't mind this like some other people do, in part because it's par for the Bono course. At some point, I think Bono almost makes a somewhat coherent for intelligent design (OK, not really, but he argued for science, pharmaceuticals, and for the inspiration of the divine. In my mind, that makes more sense than almost anything I have read on the topic lately. Plus, I got to chant "Merck, Merck, Merck" at this point in the show. Because where else are you going to root for the pharmaceutical industry, even though we probably should do so a little more often.) The problem is, I am still not a fan of this one as a live effort.

9). Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Bono leaves the sunglasses off. It's like it's some form of tribute, and I am down with it. I know this actually was very exciting for various and several people.

10). Love and Peace or Else
We now enter into the Bono makes his larger point about seeking peace in the world, and let's face it, it's kind of hard to argue against World Peace. I also know this is the part of the show where they let Adam get up and move around, which is nice. Also, letting Bono drum, somewhat hilarious.

11). Sunday Bloody Sunday
Apparently this song is still not a rebel song, but everyone in the crowd knows it and knows the words.

12). Bullet the Blue Sky - When Johnny Comes Marching Home
OK, Bono's Messiah complex came out to play here, but again, that's what makes Bono Bono. That said, I still really love Bullet the Blue Sky, but I still miss the bill count off. Again, that's just me.

13). Running to Stand Still
If you asked me if I had to trade "Bad", my all time favorite U2 song for "Running to Stand Still", I would take it. The problem was that at the top, Bono dedicated it to the men and women of the United States Armed Forces. Which is all well and good, except the song is about a heroin addiction. I mean, I suppose if this were the Vietnam era, that would make more sense, but nevertheless, it bothered me (and Cathy) a little bit from the top. That said, I still love this one and I loved the effort on it.

14). Pride
Greg "I hate because I love. To Hate.": You will be happy to know that Mr. Hewson has finally realized that MLK was shot around 6 PM Memphis time, because he now sings "In the evening, April 4" during Pride. Apparently U2 has finally hired a fact checker.

15). Where the Streets Have No Name
From what I have on my hard drive, this is the best live U2 song, and honestly, tonight was no exception, especially because it featured a montage of the flags of Africa behind the stage. You know me and flags. It was amazing.

16). One
And Alexis gets her wish, though I knew it had to be coming, because of the One Campaign. Bono has once again repurposed this song for a new cause (now serving the elimination of world poverty, which I guess still connects with opposition to AIDS, so OK, maybe not.)

Encore(s):
17). Zoo Station
I actually pulled one off on Cathy, recognizing Zoo Station ahead of her, including Bono's goofy goose steps around the ellipse in his conductor's hat, but...again, I am not complaining as much as being amused.

18). The Fly
I love "The Fly", the intense edge on the guitar. Honestly, they could play the whole Achtung Baby album cover to cover and I would be thrilled, but again, not living in the past. The crowd's getting powered down, but the band is still kicking it.

19). Mysterious Ways
And Dave is happy. He had been worried he would not get his favorite song, but there it was. They pulled a girl out of the crowd, whom I for a moment swore was Stevie, but knew it was not when she did not proceed to maul Bono. Stevie, you would have worked it much better than the lucky lady, but not much as she clearly had been working on her belly dancing, I think putting the fear in Bono. Which is fun.

20). Party Girl
OK, so apparently this was a matchup for last night's taping, but hey, we got Party Girl live, and Laura, the girl brought on stage to be the Party Girl was one heck of a tall drink of water. Good stuff!

21). All Because of You
From the opening strains of this one, I know I am going to be happy. One of my favorites on the new album, Bono decided to stand halfway between the catwalk and the guardrail right by one of the "Happy Birthday" signs. It was also right before this song that the "Hap-py Birth-DAY" chant got really rolling for Bono's 45th. He genuinely seemed amused by this.

22). Original of the Species
They claim they still haven't perfected this one and dedicated it to all of their girls, which literally meant their wives and daughters, but a solid effort on a difficult song. Bono then decides its his birthday and damn it, they're going to do what he wants to do. He also teaches us a little Italian, in this case that "encora" literally means to play the same song twice. This leads into...

23). Vertigo (take two)
It's worth noting, I have no issue with closing the show out with a second take on a high energy song, since it's possible that the band actually played it with more enthusiasm the second time around and it seemed to rouse the crowd to close the show on a high note. It was a heck of a thing and it was a heck of a show. I can't wait to see the boys again in October when they swing back through Auburn Hills. It will certainly take less effort to get there. And I guess I have to get the DVD now, since it's "my" show.

After falling to sleep accidentally in a chair, I awoke and got ready to roll. (An amazing breakfast sandwich, by the way, Alexis, it's not your fault I don't eat breakfast.) We spent some time with the wonderful kids of Calhoun Elementary's second grade class, and then headed down to Gino's East, slipped into SportsMart, found some killer adidas tennis shoes in the bargain basement, and then got some deep dish. I should point out it is not a good idea to call Mike and taunt him that you're at one of his favorite restaurants, he might ask you bring him back one with sausage, which we did. We hit the road at Noon CDT and got back at 6:00 EDT, which included stops in Hammond for gas (at the truck stop, I saw a "Screaming Eagle" 100 dB alarm clock, which I damn near bought just to put in my classroom in case anyone decides that sleeping during class is a good idea. Dave said "They'd never sleep in class again." I countered that i wasn't sure they would ever sleep again, period. We dropped off the pizza at AMG, and went back to the L. It was indeed a beautiful couple of days. My thanks to all of you who made it so, especially Alexis (a wonderful host whom I hereby promise to visit again in Chicago again soon), Catherine (still one of my favorite people in the world, bar none.), Jeremy (always a pleasure), and especially Dave. Top of the World, Dave, Top of the World.

(1) Apparently Mike and I arrived at this joke independently of each other.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, still running.

Thought for the Day: The Way Things Aught To Be
May 9, 2005

First things first:
For the record, I would like it explained to me why, when given antibiotics, I still feel like crap. Alas, and alack.

This weekend was my brother's bachelor party, and that meant indoor paintball. Apparently, I got pretty good by the end, because I studied combat tactics with Capt. Bart Mancuso. Namely, I understood flanking and the importance of a double tap. Plus, no one expects the guy in the NTN sweatshirt to do anything. Oh, and by the way, those things to hurt, way more than you might think, but the use of "bonusballing" is a great name for what amounts to piling on.

For the record, I am not any fun. In case you were wondering, it was confirmed Saturday night at Tequila Rain.

A thanks to all of you who helped me with clean up duty yesterday, I think it's actually better than when I started, though if anyone else would like to pitch in, you know where to find me.

I think the kids did well in the APUSH test, they seem happy, then again, it's not July. I was way off on my suspected DBQ topic era, so they were a little peeved, despite the fact that I clearly threw a disclaimer in there, but oh well, they still did well since Vietnam did come up in question 5. By the way, I have learned that I can deflate a room lightning quick with just one read on one question. Not that I meant to, it just sort of happened.

---

So, I was pondering, I made my best of the 1990s CDs, but what about the best of the first half of the 2000s (The Aughts, the DoubleO's, what the hell are we calling this decade anyway?) I humbly submit to you my 2-disc set, "The Way Things Aught To Be"

The Rules:
* All songs released on an album between 2000-2004
* No more than one song per artist, no matter how much you want to double up.
* Must fit on two standard 80 minute CDs.
* Beyond that, it's stuff I like, but also stuff I thought other people would know. I'm not trying to expand anyone's musical tastes here, if it happens, bully.

For the record, I found this one much harder than the 1990s exercise earlier this year, which I think speaks for distance and staying power. (It also proves to me I was right and that the Discovery Channel should have let me pick the 100 Greatest Americans, which then could have been voted on by the masses. Yes, I am clearly still bitter about that.)

Disc 1:

1. "Beautiful Day" by U2-2000 (4:03)
It's such a perfect opener of things. You almost feel like it was meant to begin something. I still remember having this in the car when I was student teaching, and as it would play as I would drive over to Churchill, every day would seem a little bit easier. I mean, it wasn't, but at least it felt that way.

2. "Hanging By a Moment" by Lifehouse-2000 (3:37)
Yeah, what can I say, I am a sucker for prom themes. Lifehouse is one of those guilty pleasure bands that I am now convinced only exists to write songs to be stolen to be used in CBS show promos.

3. "Country Grammar (Hot...)" by Nelly-2000 (4:48)
Yes, I know, it makes no sense, but I really like Nelly. I am not a St. Lunatic, nor to I have a self-adhesive bandage fetish, but I like the efforts of Mr. Nelly.

4. "I'm Like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado-2000 (4:07)
I kind of think I may have done this just for the hilariously rough transition between song 3 and song 4. Well, that and memories.

5. "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" by Fuel-2000 (3:58)
For the record, for four years I had no idea what the name of this song was, I just presumed it was the new song by Fuel. Imagine my surprise. Thank you Bonnie and thank you iTunes.

6. "Easy Tonight" by Five for Fighting-2000 (4:08)
I miss hockey, hockey named bands get a free-pass, even if the Kings aren't in the playoffs this season.

7. "Yellow" by Coldplay-2000 (4:28)
Do not forget what a revelation this song was back in 2000, when ABC co-opted it for promos that ran during Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? You guys remember WWTBAM, right? It was that show that was on all the time in the early 00s on ABC. You guys remember the ABC yellow card promos right? Sports Night? That was a good show, no?

8. "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews Band-2001 (4:01)
Black Hawk Down. Yep, used in trailers for Black Hawk Down. No, I don't understand it either.

9. "Why Georgia" by John Mayer-2001 (4:29)
Well, because I often ask myself if I am living it right? I still don't know and I still can't find 85 to drive up, so maybe some answers will never come.

10. "Flake" by Jack Johnson-2001 (4:40)
It's just such a weird song, but it does prove my theory. If you can seemingly organically incorporate a steel drum into your song, do it, people will like it. Plus, the album has a great title.

11. "Rollout (My Business)" by Ludacris-2001 (4:34)
Ahh yes, my bizarre obsession with Luda. Then again, I have never been referenced as a foot note in a U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decision, so maybe there is something here. I shouldn't like this song, it's nothing more than a litany of extravagant purchases in line with the hip-hop lifestyle. Then again, it makes a hell of a ringtone.

12. "When It's Over" by Sugar Ray-2001 (3:38)
Admittedly, I played this song today at the start of APUSH, not because the lyrics were correct, but the concept of "When It's Over" seemed apropos and the gang seemed to concur. Sugar Ray writes a good summer song, when their frontman isn't kicking ass on Rock and Roll Jeopardy! or hosting Extra.

13. "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch-2001 (3:37)
Ahh yes, the anti-Britney. You know, wrote her own songs. Played her own guitar. Didn't seem ruined by commercialism. Well, it was a nice idea while it lasted and then morphed into Avril.

14. "Side" by Travis-2001 (4:01)
One of the hardest decisions to make on the whole list, which song by Travis would I pick. There are a number of good choices, but when I winnowed it down to one, I went with the one that sticks with me. The concept of Fran's concert banter eventually leading to a math concept leading to song lyrics has always struck me funny.

15. "She's on Fire" by Train-2001 (3:49)
Yes, I'm the idiot that likes Train. I figure Train is just a 2000s version of Journey. I see and hear some weird parallels, but the good news is, I didn't pick the overplayed ones, nor did I pick the AT&T Cingular commercial!

16. "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World-2001 (2:48)
There was a period, not immediately after 9/11, but shortly after that, where this song was damn near ubiquitous. I don't know why, I can't explain why, but I do still like it a lot.

17. "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down-2002 (4:21)
3 Doors Down have to go down as the most successful rock band of the millennium so far, at least of the bands that did not have a major reputation before the turn of the decade. Heck, they were generating singles off Away from the Sun for almost 18 months, that's pretty solid. I will grant you, the inspired tribute to military families video for this song probably didn't hurt their standing with a nation that was very receptive to that feeling at the time.

18. "Somewhere in the Middle" by Dishwalla-2002 (3:42)
I bet you didn't know Dishwalla had more than one song. Seriously, you totally didn't know that. There's no way. Because no one ever remembers that. But listen to this one and you'll see that clearly they were a two hit wonder. And they are totally ripping off the U2 idea of songs that make you wonder if they're about a girl or about God.

19. "8 Mile" by Eminem-2002 (6:01)
Representin', straight D, no chaser. Yes, "Lose Yourself" is probably the better song, but I love the bass line of this one. 734 fo life. (OK, actually, I'm 248, actually, I was 313, then I was 810 in high school, then I was 248, and then I went 734 when I moved to AA, and then I went back to being 248 after college, but my cell is 734, so I am 734, yo.)

Disc 2:

1. "The Only Way (Is the Wrong Way)" by Filter-2002 (5:13)
Yes, I heard it first in a Hummer commercial. Sue me, it's still a good song. (P.S.: Title of Record came out in late 1999, which is why "Take a Picture" hit in early 2000. Since I used this justification to get it into the 90s music tournament, I am not going to countercheat to suit my own tastes. Besides, TOW(itWW) stands up nicely on its own.)

2. "Breathe" by Télépopmusik-2002 (4:42)
I think this was in a CSI episode. I know it was in a Mitsubishi ad (which lead, in part, to the creation of one of my favorite weblogs) Why yes, there is a pattern here. Apparently, the rest of the album is very hit or miss for people who liked the song.

3. "Extreme Ways" by Moby-2002 (3:59)
This may be a reflection of my enjoyment of the Bourne films more than a reflection on Moby, but I digress. It's a kicking tune. Plus, it was used by NBC as Michael Phelps theme music during the 2004 Summer Olympics. Yes, I was paying that much attention.

4. "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton-2002 (3:56)
Oh, admit it, before you heard it 937 times in three days, you kind of liked it too. Do not, however, try to find a version of Miss Carlton without studio sweetening. It's a bitter fruit.

5. "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz-2002 (4:18)
I'm going to forgive the trucker hat, because at least he has been funny when he's been on VH1 talking head specials. Plus, he actually made Joey Harrington look semi-competent, which, of course, is the biggest miracle of them all.

6. "Here Is Gone" by Goo Goo Dolls-2002 (3:59)
See, this is the kind of thing that happens when I spend all day working with 14-year olds. My musical taste suffers. That, and I always think that John Resznick still longs to be Paul Westerberg.

7. "A Sorta Fairytale" by Tori Amos-2002 (4:06)
I have always enjoyed Tori's work, which I firmly place blame on EA's shoulders for that one. But this one is my favorite of her songs, and I can't really explain it, because I think she has written better songs, but I just really like this one.

8. "This Love" by Maroon 5-2002 (3:28)
Dude, remember, before it was played into oblivion, you probably liked this song too. OK, maybe not Greg, but that's because Greg hates because he loves. To Hate. (1) Plus, I still want to hear what happened on the KidzBop version for the lyrical cleanup. Do they clean up double entendre?
(1) Line courtesy of Mark Coen and will now be used as Greg's official calling card on TFTD.

9. "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional-2003 (3:08)
See Disc 2, song 6. Seriously, apparently liking the work of Mr. Confessional made me "the coolest teacher ever." Which, we all know is a lie, but you know, it's nice to know that kids still understand the hyperbole. Oh, and if you have not heard the version which pairs Sr. Carrabba with R.E.M.'s Mr. Stipe is quite tremendous. It's almost like Michael was having fun. By the way, how did a teenage girl heartthrob emerge out of Boca. Shouldn't he be well liked by old people instead?

10. "Blinded (When I See You)" by Third Eye Blind-2003 (4:21)
Why didn't this song get more play? It's as good as anything 3EB wrote back in 1997, if not more so. I cannot understand the fickle musical tastes of American radio listeners. Then again, if I could, I could make some serious serious cash money. That would be pretty cool.

11. "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne-2003 (3:19)
America still loves Ric Ocasek. It's just that simple. That or we really miss the 1980s.

12. "World on Fire" by Sarah McLachlan-2003 (4:22)
Of the post 9/11 songs that are knowing post 9/11 songs and not ones that rode along in the wake (I am looking at you Mr. Adams.), this is probably my favorite, just because it's very hard to question Sarah McLachlan's earnestness. There's also something to the fact that McLachlan, as a Canadian, has some distance from the events, but is still clearly affected by them. It's a song larger that just that one autumn day, which is what a song that reflects on events should do. Plus, if you have not seen the video, it's something else.

13. "I Don't Want To Be" by Gavin DeGraw-2003 (3:40)
Oh, apparently I like One Tree Hill. No, of course not. Clearly this is from Scrubs. But part of where I'm goin' is knowin' where I'm comin' from.

14. "The Way You Move" by OutKast-2003 (3:56)
Yes, I know, it should have been "Hey Ya". Screw it, I liked this one better. Plus, I like spelling that goes so quick

15. "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet-2003 (3:38)
If America misses the 80s, Australia misses the Kinks. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's not like they stole the Kinks' hair or anything (damn you Rooney). I am not sure this song could be any simpler, which is why I think it works.

16. "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes-2003 (3:53)
Oh wait, a song that is simpler. I still don't know why I am going to Wichita, but what the hell. Plus, I finally got the White Stripes, which made me feel better about myself.

17. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day-2004 (4:24)
I had to sneak "Wonderwall" on here somehow. Mission accomplished.

18. "Float On" by Modest Mouse-2004 (3:30)
Summer 2004. Who knew Modest Mouse would be it. Well, other than the kids in my IR class. But seriously, what did Stackpoole know?

19. "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers-2004 (3:45)
"Change Your Mind" is the better song from Hot Fuss, but since I have only heard it in an ad for The Amazing Race, I'll have to go with this instead.

20. "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand-2004 (3:59)
You know, on the plus side, they have made teaching World War I easier for an entire generation of high school freshmen. Plus, they're Scottish, so they have that going for them, which is nice.

So that's it, that's the list. Have at it with your umbrage.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, sliding back under the weather.

Thought for the Day: More like real life than imagined
May 4, 2005

First things first:
The 2004-05 NHL Secret Season has been cancelled. Why, you ask? Well, it all stems from this:

"So is this technically fanfic, and if so may I mock you publicly?"
--Greg

"Oh goodness Greg, you're right. I've become what I hate. I have to stop. Thank you for calling me out on it. That's it, the rest of the Secret NHL season is hereby cancelled, thanks to Greg's dose of reality."
--Craig D. Barker

"It took a public mocking from Greg to stop this? How many times have I told you how scary this was?"
--JQ

"Yeah, I'm giddy with power now, and nothing good can come of that. I think the proper way to tell me to cram it would be to play out the season and also write up the press conferences.

And decide outcomes with a d10, of course."
--Greg

Nope, sorry Greg, I realized about three days ago that this was way more fraught than I anticipated and honestly, when I saw the word fanfic, I knew I had a problem and needed to stop. So thank you my friend for this form of blog intervention.

By the way, a thank you also to all of you whom answered my DC related questions. It is appreciated.

Now a little bit about my AP classes this year.

Every year I worry about my AP classes. I am hyperprotective of them, and I think it stems from that they are being asked to take a class that is theoretically three years ahead of where they should be, and so you don't know what's going to happen. These are bright kids, they are a tremendous group, and I love that they are not only individually unique, but collectively quirky. We're to a point where we have inside jokes and bizarre memes that we get. This is my third group, and I can genuinely say that I have never felt better about a group going in, which is as it should be. As I get better at doing this, in theory, the classes should be better prepared. Now, don't misread me, I love my first 35, because they were in the lifeboat with me and we got through the fog OK. And I love the `06s because they exceeded the expectations I had for myself and for them. But the `07s are an amazing group. They're funny, they're clever, and they're exceptionally hard working. I have no doubt that they're going to take this thing out, but that is largely dependant on what the essays are on this year's test. No matter what happens though, I am proud of them, because they have shown me that hard work does pay off, especially when it's combined with some exceptional talent.

I have been sick pretty much since Friday night and the urgent care doctor tonight confirmed that I am "sick". So I got that going for me, which is nice.

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, inching closer to the gates out.

Thought for the Day: Capital ideas
May 2, 2005

First things first:
The 2004-05 NHL Secret Season rolls on...I was out of town, so I only got to see bits and pieces and sadly, TFTD reporters were on vacation, so we only have scores.

Saturday's Games:
Boston 4, Toronto 2 (Bruins lead the series 1-0)
Glen Murray had a pair of goals, including an empty netter as the Bruins took an early 1-0 series lead.

Detroit 5, Nashville 1 (Red Wings lead the series 1-0)
Brendan Shanahan's had a hat trick while Kris Draper had a pair of assists as the Red Wings jumped out early on the Predators and never looked back to go up one game in the series.

Sunday's Games:
St. Louis 2, Calgary 0 (Blues lead the series 1-0)
Pavol Demitra's goal with 3:12 left in the third period snapped a scoreless tie and Barret Jackman added an empty netter as Chris Osgood turned away 27 shots from the Flames, allowing St. Louis to steal home-ice advantage in the series.

New Jersey 2, Tampa Bay 1 (OT) (Devils lead the series 1-0)
John Madden continued his playoff hot hand, finding the top corner past Nikolai Khabibulin with 15 seconds left in the first overtime as the Devils upset the defending Stanley Cup champs to take a 1-0 series lead.

Tonight's Games:
Toronto at Boston (7:30 PM on CBC and ESPN)
Nashville at Detroit (8:00 PM on ESPN)

Tuesday's Games:
New Jersey at Tampa Bay (7:30 PM on ESPN and CBC)
St. Louis at Calgary (10:00 PM on ESPN and CBC)

---

I had my whole weekend in DC ready to be blogged about, but then I realized, I really would just be doing it for my own ego. I do have a couple of questions/notes to my DC folks.

1). What happens to the cherries that show up on the cherry blossoms?
2). I love the walking time maps that you can find all over. And the signage, amazing. I never got lost the whole weekend, even with my maps occasionally being in the trunk.
3). Why didn't I ever pay a toll on the Dulles Toll Road?
4). Could the National Mall be any more crowded?
5). Is the entire city under construction?
6). I presume I lucked out that weekend traffic is nice, and that weekday traffic is not so much?

That's all for today, until the next time,
I am Craig Barker, smack in the middle of the week of Hell.